Domestic Abuse Frequently Asked Questions
Domestic abuse only happens because some men lose control
REALITY: The opposite is often true – abusive men have a lot of control. They often avoid marking their partner’s face in order to hide the abuse. This is not a random loss of control.
She must deserve or provoke it
REALITY: There is never any justification for violence unless your life's in danger. No one deserves to be abused.
It’s all caused by drink
REALITY: Drink can trigger abuse, but many abusers do not drink, or only abuse when they are sober. Alcohol is not usually the root cause of the problem.
It only happens in problem families
REALITY: Abusers come from all backgrounds and walk of life. There is no typical abuser or abused woman. We have helped women whose partners were doctors, ministers, social workers, etc. The only problems are those caused by the abuse, and when women have escaped this they are more than capable of leading a normal life.
Those who abuse were abused themselves as children
REALITY: This theory has no evidence to back it up. Many abusers come from families where they were never abused and have siblings who are not abusers. Children who witness abuse do not automatically become abusers themselves, in fact many reject abusive behaviour completely.
It’s just the odd domestic tiff
REALITY: Occasional arguments between couples are perfectly normal. Domestic abuse is deliberate behaviour designed to exert power and control. The abuse can range from telling the woman who her friends can be and criticising her appearance, to physical abuse, rape and threats to kill.
If you are experiencing domestic abuse, please do not suffer alone. Give us a call, visit our centre or fill in the enquiry form on our contact us page. We are here to help you.